CADET 001

This is Cash. He's been playing alot harder than usual lately. We wouldn't get anywhere without this dynamo beating the crap out of his drums. His arms are getting huge from all the abuse he metes out. Practice makes PERFECT. Look at that face, ladies. Feed him cokes (no ice), and toss him quotes from "Bottlerocket" if you want to win cool points. Whenever I hang out with Cash I get that same feeling that you used to get when you hung out at your friend's house when you were 8 or 9- watching movies all day, riding bikes, jumping around in sprinklers, getting bored with the same old Atari game, pretend space ships, G.I. Joe. He is a Libra, in case you were wondering. He's a French intellectual born out of place, a nihilist with a grin on his face. He claims in an existential stupor, "Stephin Merritt is God.", then mumbles something in Spanish and becomes a tornado of drum-frenzy.

CADET 003

This is Chuck, Cadet 003. No one has ever played guitar exactly like him. No one's songs are as weird as his are. Not surface weird, like about snot or cinderblocks, but genuine holy weird, like about kids that die stepping on cracked ice and about an ideal- ized friend-compound where no one ever sleeps and all people do is play. He hates cheese. Well, he eats it on pizza, but not on burgers. I mean, he's got some kind of arcane cheese acceptability formula. In high school, he would run around the halls and pretend he was a velociraptor. I took humanities class with him back then, before I joined; he would play drums on the desk, and every time I tried to join in he would stop. I felt really uncool when he did that. Chuck knows alot about things most people don't. Chuck has a heart the size of Siberia. Chuck is one of two math-wielding Cadets, With two A's and a B in Calc. AND A's in diff. eq.!

CADET 007

This is Isaac, Cadet 007. He is also a component of Thee Harmonious Fists, the legendary anti-everything ensemble fronted by maniacal provocateur Winthrop Fist. (Without the Fists the Cadets would not exist in their present form.) Isaac is the oldest and the wisest Cadet. He often brings us to our senses when we want to do something really stupid. ("B-b-but...WHY can't we drive to Seattle in twelve hours, Isaac?") He plays guitar and the occasional key- board. He's the hearty chili thickener, taking the songs and grafting on complex jazz-influenced harmonies and welding his six strings into a chorus of steak sound. He is classically trained and proficient in that disciplined kind of guitar playing most people only dimly fathom.

CADET 009

That's Chad, Cadet 009, on the left. (He's also me, the executive web- master. Oooooh, WEB MASTER...) Chad plays bass, and has a lot of strange hang-ups about time, age, and a mysterious quantity known as "savin's". Chad totally freaks out sometimes at shows, and has been known to scream about politics and his girlfriend over the righteous din (away from the mike, towards the ceiling or his feet or the audience.) The second prong of the Cadetian math fork, 009 studies aerospace engineering, mainly because he thinks when he's older he'll create a revolutionary system of space transportation involving timed orbits of inhabited asteroids called cyclers. (It's not his idea, he just likes it.)